Someone said these exact words to me.
I don’t understand why… It was at a time when I absolutely “needed to work out.”
I was navigating an unexpected divorce, raising young children, and returning to a career I never planned to return to.
But instead of dismissing these words, I let them marinate. I probably questioned whether I had time to work out more than I should have.
It seemed outside of her lane to be instructing me on my exercise habits. And it unquestionably was.
Comments like these often left me speechless. How do you even reply to something that makes no sense?
Silence. That was always my go-to.
My subconscious simply shuts down all communication and conserves oxygen.
Because, after all, I was taught: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.”
The comment made me analyze my daily schedule.
I would have glossed over it when I was younger. I didn’t put too much stock in things. Not much ruffled my feathers.
As I’ve gotten older, and as I’ve raised daughters, I’ve found a deeper meaning in some of these passive-aggressive comments.
The pattern I recognized was that there were some women who simply didn’t support other women, for whatever reason.
This is upsetting to me because I am a woman. I believe in uplifting other women, especially when support is paramount and the vulnerability is raw.
I’ve noticed it in my career and personal life.
I’ve witnessed it with people I care about.
Comments do have an impact on us, whether subtly, subconsciously, or overtly.
Unfortunately, or fortunately, I have dozens of examples to draw on and hopefully continue to learn from.
What I learned from this experience was that my well-being did matter.
Even if it didn’t seem to fit my new calendar.
In this instance, I chose to take the words as motivation to prioritize my well-being.
I got a personal trainer.
I carved out my “lunch break” every Friday to work out. It felt amazing. I felt amazing!
It gave me confidence and it gave me the energy I needed to navigate everything in my professional and personal life.
Had I landed on “you don’t have time to work out,” I might have gained an hour for something else. But I would have lost the confidence, energy and clarity that one hour provided through exercise.
More importantly, it made me realize the type of woman I want to be.
One who supports other women. Not someone who puts others down or suggests limiting beliefs.
When someone is experiencing a challenge or navigating a difficult time, I want to be encouraging and to have their back.
I want my words to help another woman trust her instinct and make time for what restores her.
Has someone ever said anything to you that left you questioning the very thing you needed most?